Currently Filling My Soul: Rumi’s Zero Circle

Yesterday, after too many nights of my youngest waking up every two hours, I began to unravel with exhaustion. Unable to fall back to sleep at 5 am, my mind began mining in some very negative territory. And then, in the morning before I began work, I found this poem. They were the right words at the right time. I hope they fill your soul too.

Zero Circle

by Rumi  (Version by Coleman Barks)

Be helpless, dumbfounded,

Unable to say yes or no.

Then a stretcher will come from grace to gather us up.

We are too dull-eyed to see that beauty.

If we say we can, we’re lying.

If we say No, we don’t see it,

That No will behead us

And shut tight our window onto spirit.

So let us rather not be sure of anything,

Besides ourselves, and only that, so

Miraculous beings come running to help.

Crazed, laying in a zero circle, mute,

We shall be saying finally,

With tremendous eloquence, Lead us.

When we have totally surrendered to that beauty,

We shall be a mighty kindness.

 

Filling my soul: the idea that if we let go and just be helpless without answers that “miraculous beings” will swoop in with stretchers and grace and come to our aid. We need only to be ourselves and only that.

What is currently filling your soul? What poem is resonating right now? Comment below or tweet me @charakingston

 

It’s ok

It’s ok to fall apart.

Go ahead. Let yourself fall into sharp, painful bits all over the floor.

It’s ok to wonder if you will ever get out of this mess,  if you will ever make it through the mountain of bills, if you will ever know what the hell you are doing.

It’s ok to wish that you had a different life. It’s ok to wish that you were waking up to a fridge full of fresh greens and a hot yoga class in an hour.

It’s ok to want things. It’s ok to want a new bra or a pair of shoes or a pretty haircut. Or a life where you get paid handsomely for your gifts.

You have gifts. It’s ok to not see them right now.

It’s ok to want to drop everything and run and hide behind your mother’s leg.

Collapse. Fall. Wrap your arms around your knees and bury your head.

Cry. Wail. Let the ache of your chest and the thud in your stomach rise up and catch a note of unimaginable proportions. Let that unrecognizable sound out.

Say it. Say all those things inside your head and heart out loud. Put your words to music. Let them pour out in notes of anger, fear, regret, and disappointment.

Be here for as long as you need. Let you butt go numb for sitting on the floor so long. Let your nose ooze ridiculous amounts of sadness. Let your body go cold with worry and exhaustion from holding it in.

It’s ok.

It’s ok to be here as you are right now.

As bad as it may seem, you are enough.

You.

Right now.

As you are.

You are enough.

You are worthy.